Looking Forward to Eternity

        Danny and I have now been married for a little over a month and this has definitely been the most exciting month of my life. It’s funny how easily love can grow each day even though when at the moment I look at him and think “I don’t think anyone can love someone as much as I love him” and then the next day I prove myself wrong. Right now we are settling down into our hectic schedules which isn’t the most fun thing to do. With my work schedule combined with both his work/school schedule we get lucky if we get three meals together each week. I guess some could say that we are still in our honeymoon phase because we never get to see each other. In these last couple of weeks I have learned a lot of lessons, here are three:

 

1)      I am capable of cooking!! Yep that’s right. It’s great the things you can teach yourself when you take your focus away from the internet, phone and tv (however I did use You Tube to learn how to sauté onions).

2)      Marriage makes life no longer just about me and the things that I want to have or the things that I want to do. I am now a part of a team – an eternal team. I have a life partner who will now forever be a part of life’s big decisions and ultimately my happiness as well as his happiness.

3)      The Gospel is the key to being happily in love. I loved companionship study as a missionary but when your new companion is your husband it makes this study time even better. Reading the scriptures daily and together has filled our little place with a spirit that I never want to get rid of. Reading the scriptures together has helped make those ancient words clearer than it’s ever been before.

 

I’m excited for each new day that I get to spend with my best friend.

 

Our Story 12/12/12

         Our story of how we came to be a married couple is an interesting wild one and yet I wouldn’t change anything about it. First let me give some background info; when I first got home from serving a mission I jumped right into a relationship out of pressure. So much is expected of a return missionary and it seems that around every corner you get asked the same question “when are you getting married?”. Of course people are going to want to know when you’re going to make that big step but it freaked me out because let’s face it’s a very BIG step and I didn’t want to mess up by choosing the wrong one, after all eternity is a looooooooong time. Anyways eventually I ended that relationship and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t get into a commitment unless I felt like it was going to be the real thing. The following year was a fun one as far as dating goes, the only problem was that I started to treat dating like a game. I became insensitive to the guys’s feelings and instead all I cared about was how many guys could I fit into one week? Or better yet, one day? I developed a strategy in this dating game and I felt like as long as I didn’t get caught it was all fun and fair. Whenever the “L” word (love) or “M” word (marriage) came up I would drop the guy and run the other direction. It took a very special person to stop me in my tracks and change this dating game . . . forever.

Last Winter I got a call from my good friend Courtney. She told me that she had a close friend she wanted me to meet. Actually her exact words were that she knew who my future husband was and that we had to meet right away (little did she know how right she was J ) I had tickets to the Jazz game for the next night so I invited her and gave her an extra ticket for this friend of hers. Shortly after this phone call she called me again and this time said that her friend, Danny, wouldn't be able to make it because of his work schedule. I still told her that she can come to the game and that the extra ticket is hers to give out to whoever she wanted to invite. Five minutes later I get a call from another good friend, Andrea. She told me that she had a friend who she wanted me to meet, so I also gave her two tickets for the Jazz game. Later I found out that Danny rearranged his work schedule and was coming to the game after all. I was excited and a little nervous about how that night would work out with me being at the game sitting next to two guys that I was being set up with at the same time, it put a whole new meaning to the term “double dating”. I thought I did a good job at dividing up my time with both guys without getting them to notice what was going on. Right off the bat I noticed that there was something different about Danny. I will not say that it was love at first sight because it was not. In fact he didn't even leave the best first impression but now that doesn't even matter because he won my heart over in the end. Over the next couple of weeks we started seeing each other weekly and talking almost daily. After a while I realized that Danny was becoming the only person that I was seeing, and it scared me. It completely threw me off guard. I remember thinking to myself “what in the world is happening to me? Why am I spending time with just one guy? He’s the perfect new dating pawn because he lives so far away that I won’t have to worry about running into mutual friends or other guys that I’m seeing” For the first time I started to feel guilty about what I had been doing. He’s the only guy who made me feel bad about playing everyone’s hearts and the thing was that Danny didn’t even know he was changing me. He had no clue about my dating history. Danny was also different in the sense that there was a bit of a chase going on, even though he denies it today. One night after he left my house I called Courtney at around 2am for advice. I told her how I was freaking out because he was now the only guy I was seeing and I didn’t know how to handle that. I sounded like a little girl as I was talking to her about my feelings and how he was changing everything about me without even realizing it. For the first time in a very long time Danny made me feel vulnerable. I felt like karma was coming around and that I would finally realize what a heartbreak felt like. I felt like if there was anyone who had the ability to make me feel as hurt as I had made others feel it would be this guy, and it scared me. Luckily that never happened even though I will be the first to admit that I would have deserved it.

Two nights before Valentine’s Day, Danny finally brought up the DTR (define the relationship) topic. Without even thinking I told him that I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship at that time. That night I wanted to beat myself up. It didn’t make sense to me why I had told him ‘not right now’ especially when he was the only person I was seeing. I think it was such an automatic response that I put no thought before answering, and this regret kept me up all night. I decided that before committing myself to one person I needed to first rectify a few things. I knew that I owed a few people apologies and even though it wasn’t the easiest thing to do, I’m glad it was done. When Valentine’s Day came around I found flowers at my work desk and to my joy it was from Danny. I loved knowing that Danny wasn’t a quitter and this relationship also meant something to him.

I was relieved to take a trip to Colorado with Courtney so that I could take myself out of the picture for a second to evaluate everything. At that point I knew three things: I no longer wanted to date anyone else, I knew that I had feelings for him and I knew that I had to be in a vulnerable position to have this relationship work. The first night we were able to see each other after I got back was the night that Danny got the whole scoop about how I had been treating guys for the past year. Danny could have easily backed out at that moment but he didn’t. Instead he listened (another reason why I love him). Danny told me about his past and how it wasn’t 100% perfect either (newsflash everyone has flaws). Danny has a way of making people smile and looking at the positive in everything. The mood was great but I still had to pass one of his tests that night. I had to sing ‘A Whole New World’ from Aladdin. I must’ve really liked him because I ended up singing for him which has never been done before by me to any guy. That night Danny also did something brave, he asked me out again. This time I didn’t blow it and I said yes. I was a little hesitant but determined to see where it could go. This was one of the best ‘yes’s I’ve ever said. The next better ‘yes’ came on June18, 2013 when he got down on one knee and proposed and the best ‘yes’ I’ve ever said came on August 22, 2013 as I knelt across the alter and became his wife.

I’ve obviously skipped a huge part of the dating story but if it was included this long story would be even longer. When asked “why Danny?” or “what made you fall in love?” the answer is because of the above story . . . he was able to change me and make me want to become a better person without him even realizing it, and that’s why I’ll forever love him. I knew that I was going to marry him before I even knew I loved him.