Too many thoughts, not enough words. I miss her. It's the one year anniversary of her passing which brings mixed emotions. I've found that this kind of grief is complicated because I can't even be mad that she passed. If she could comprehend everything the disease took away from her she would have hated it. So instead I have to direct any anger I have associated with it with the fact that she got to endure that trial in the first place. I hate that her memory was wiped, her body became wheelchair bound and she was trapped with a sufferable incurable disease so rare it almost sounds made up.
I am grateful she's no longer in pain and her mind and body are free to move in ways they couldn't while here. I'm also glad her passing was as peaceful as possible. That's a blessing I keep coming back to. It's been a year of gratitude and a year of grief and not one day passed where I did not think of her. I doubt a day will ever pass where she won't be in my thoughts in some way and that's okay with me. I'll carry her forever. Hope heaven is everything and more. 💛
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