Mother

Mother. This title is such a sacred calling in my eyes. 

I was very scared to become one myself because of how serious I believe this role to be. I don't believe that giving birth makes you a mother, instead it's much more than that. It's about sincerely caring for someone else and putting their needs before your own. 

I just looked up the definition of mother in the dictionary and all it said was "a woman who gives birth to a child". Wow I literally just got done saying that I don't believe this. There are so many nonbiological mothers who are in every sense still a mother. This goes for adopted mothers, foster mothers, step mothers, grandmothers, teachers etc. In my case I felt like a mother before the birth even happened. I started to love, worry and connect with Addisyn during those nine months before she was born. 

I'm grateful for my birth mom, mom and for my step mom. I'm also grateful for the most recent mother in my life - the woman who not only gave birth but raised Danny. I got very lucky as far as mother in laws go. 

Growing up I seemed to easily connect with a lot of great role models in my life. I'll forever be grateful for all of my "second moms" out there. 

The best thing about growing up with all these mother figures is that I know exactly the kind of mom I want and hope to be. 

I want to be 100% involved. I want to be genuinely interested in how Addie's day at school went. I want to know who her best friends are. I want to know who she has a little crush on. I want to be aware of her insecurities. I want to build up her self esteem. I want to help her nurture her own talents. I want to be silly with her. I want to dance with her. I want to sing with her. I want to tell stories to her. I want to wipe away her tears and hug her.  I want to be in the front row of whatever activity she's involved in. I want to teach her that bullying is unacceptable.  I want to build forts with her. I want to go on walks with her. I want to be someone she can be proud of. I want to find answers for her questions. I want to explore new places with her. I want her to know how much I love her dad. I want to never talk bad about someone else in front of her. I want to be someone she can trust and open up to. I want to point out the Holy Ghost in her life. I want to create a positive atmosphere for her.  I want her to know that even if I disagree with her I will still always love her. I want her to hear daily that I love her but most importantly I want her to feel this love every single day for the rest of her life. 

I also want to give her siblings and I hope to be this same mom to each one of them. 

Motherhood. It's a scary and beautiful thing.