Valentine's Day 2018

This year's Valentine's Day gift to Danny was kind of thought of last minute but it turned out perfect. When I say last minute what I really mean is that I thought of it two or three days before the holiday which for me is very last minute. I'm someone who usually plans things weeks and even months in advance. For example I already know what we're dressing up as this year for Halloween and I already have things purchased for the kids's Easter baskets. Anyway I decided to go with a five senses gift idea. I got a gift to represent all five senses.

Sight: Let's just say that this was apparel for his eyes haha.

Smell: Fabulous smelling candles. Seriously they make our place smell so good.

Sound: A video recording from Addie to her daddy.

Touch: A soft white t shirt (his favorite) and I threw in some new jeans as well.

Taste: A diet coke and pizza from Dominos (his favorite drink with his favorite pizza). 

This gift was fairly inexpensive (the most costly thing was his jeans but he needed them anyway so it wasn't too bad) and it was fun to put together so I call it a win. :)

Addie had a little Valentine's Day party that morning at the church and just as I was about to leave with the kids to get to the party the doorbell rang and there was a guy delivering beautiful flowers Danny had ordered. They're still on the counter a week later. I'm kind of hoping to keep them there for a full month but we'll see how that goes. :) Along with the flowers I also got a sweet blog post written about me and our marriage over on Danny's personal blog which I loved.

An added bonus gift was finding out the next day the gender of Baby Bean. 

Addie's little video to Danny along with a blooper video of all the attempts that it took to get one good video haha.

Addie's Short Video to her Daddy

Blooper Video

I had to take this screenshot from the video of Addie's face. It looked too cute for me not to.

Baby Bean Is A . . .

Bean is a little guy! I'm so excited. I said I wouldn't care either way what the gender was but I think a part of me was hoping for a little girl. Once I saw his little profile on the screen though and found out he was a boy I was overcome with excitement. I can't wait to see what he'll look like as a newborn. Addie and Hudson came with us to the appointment. Hudson doesn't know what's going on but Addie was really interested. She came up and sat right next to me as the ultrasonographer was putting the gel on my belly and getting the baby up on the screen. I loved hearing her say over and over how cute the little baby was as she watched the lady point out all the little parts. Before the sonographer got to the potty shot she said, "alright dad, what do you think your baby is?" Danny said "well I think my wife wants a girl and since she's two for two on not getting the gender she wants I'm going to say this one is a boy". Sure enough she showed us the potty shot and there it was. He wasn't shy at all. Before she could even say anything Danny and I both said "oh there it is". "You guys see that too right?" haha yep we sure could see it. Danny's comment before to the sonographer was right by the way. With Addie I hoped for a little boy and with Hudson I wanted a second girl. It was funny that he mentioned it at the appointment even without us really discussing our preferences to each other. This means that he's three for three in guessing correctly each of our babies' gender. What I didn't know was that Danny secretly had a preference as well. He was hoping for a little girl and it totally caught me off guard that he was a little bummed when we found out it was a boy. I had no idea he would feel that way but I guess it does make a little sense because Addie is a daddy's girl while Hudson is obsessed with his mommy. He would love to have a second daddy's girl but I'm sure he'll love this boy just as much. :)

16 weeks 1 Day

Now we just need to figure out this little guy's name; and by we I mean Danny. We went back and forth on Hudson's name because I wanted Daniel as his middle name while Danny wanted Alexandre. I finally convinced Danny by giving him full naming rights on a future boy's name. So Hudson's middle name ended up being Daniel and this one is for sure Alexandre but that's all we know for now. I told Danny he has ten more weeks before I take over and pick a name if he hasn't decided by then haha. I'm not a very patient person but for this pregnancy I'm going to have to be. Until this guy has a name he will continue to be known as Baby Bean. :)

Tomorrow We Know :)

We planned on waiting until 20 weeks to find out the gender of Baby Bean and even have the ultrasound scheduled for March 14th but Danny's mom surprised me this week with cash for an early gender appointment. We will be finding out tomorrow (if baby cooperates) and I'm pretty excited. I have no idea or 'feeling' what gender this baby is and I'll definitely be surprised either way. I also don't have a preference and will be excited for either one. A boy would be fun because he'll be so close in age with Hudson but if this is our last baby then I would love another girl! By this point with both Addie and Hudson we pretty much had their names picked out. With this one we don't have any set yet. We've played around with some ideas but to be honest because of how crazy our life is right now we haven't really discussed much about this pregnancy. 

Possible Boy Names

Grant, Jones, Cole, Levi

(Middle name Alexandre)

Possible Girl Names

Rylee, Jane, Colleen, Hailey

(Middle name Gene or Alexandra)

Whether Baby Bean is a boy or a girl I cannot wait to plan for this little blessing. Addie is pretty confident this baby is her little sister and Hudson has no idea that he's about to share me with yet another person. If he could have his way he wouldn't share me with Addie or his dad. Good thing he has a little over five months to get used to the idea. :)

Little Helper

My little storage unit helper. :)

Exploring UVU

Today was such a nice day we decided to meet Daddy at UVU for a family lunch date. The last time we did this was last spring so it was really nice to take the kids back to UVU. Addie loves the place and Hudson had fun exploring the new surrounding. 

Passed out before we even got home.

Dapper Dude

Danny captured these pictures of Hudson today while they were out roaming the halls. The little stinker wouldn't let Danny enjoy his class. :)

It Will Work Out, I Just Don't Know How

I'm not someone who typically likes to express negative emotions, at least not on this blog. I try to keep it light and fun but the truth is that sometimes life can be hard. Trails just don't end. You might go through life feeling like you're currently free of them but those moments always seem to be brief. Lately has been a little rough for me. I'm a planner. Always have been, and for me to not know what is going to happen to us this year is tough. I do know that everything will work out and turn out okay but I'd really like to know how. We have so much going on. Each individual thing is something that we could handle yet when everything is happening at the exact same time it can be so overwhelming. Which is how I have been feeling. Extremely overwhelmed. Here's just a snippet of our life right now.

- Waiting to hear back about grad school is stressful. Hopes are high, then they are low, then they are high again and it's just a big rollercoaster ride. We haven't heard back from any yet and we'd really like to. As of right now we don't know where we will be this fall. Will we be starting grad school in another state? Start school here in Utah? Or come up with another plan if grad school isn't in the books for us this year.

- Being pregnant at this time was not our plan but it's happening. Because we're still waiting on grad school I don't know if I'll be delivering this baby here in Utah this August or if it will be on the other side of the United States. Of course this baby's due date happens to fall in August when everything with grad school would be starting. To be honest I've been so caught up with stress that I haven't even been able to feel connected with this baby yet and that has been hard with my mom guilt. I want to feel excited about this new little bundle in our family but it's been hard. I keep telling myself that maybe it will come when I feel the baby move for the first time, or when we find out the gender, or maybe it will come when I find out where we will be living. I'm already in the second trimester and I've found that I still haven't told a lot of people. I want to be as happy as I was when I found out about Hudson but I'm not there yet. I will be because I have no doubt that this baby is meant to be.

- Part two of pregnancy. My other worry is trying to plan how we will transition from being a family of four to a family of five. Right now we wouldn't be able to fit our family in the vehicle we drive. With three kids in three car seats we would not be able to fit unless we purchase a minivan. The problem is that we can't afford a new vehicle. Both of our cars are paid off so having no car payments has been amazing. Well that will change once we eventually and inevitably purchase a bigger car for us. We also don't have much room in the place we live right now. We'd have to stick three kids in one bedroom which can be doable but not ideal.

- I've been so stressed about trying to figure out how we'd fit in our place if we stay in Utah and then we found out that this place isn't even going to be an option for us anymore. A big company has offered 1.8 million dollars for the storage units and this apartment and it's too good of an offer for Danny's relatives to pass up. I understand that and I don't blame them. This place isn't even worth that so I can see why they would want to accept it. This company is also paying in cash which means that the process becomes a lot shorter with them skipping all the loan steps. We have thirty days to find a new place. Danny and I have been searching daily but the problem we are running into is that we cannot commit to a year lease when we don't even know if we will be here six months from now. Out of all the things we're going through, this is the hardest. Probably because all those other little things impact this one the most. 

I'm a big time planner. It's part of my identity. I wish that I could be a go with the flow type of person but I'm really not. I'm lucky and blessed that with everything going on a problem that I do not have is marital issues. Danny and I are solid. We are in this together. The best part is that he's positive and hopeful. Which is really good when I've been an emotional wreck. I don't know how he's going through everything with a hormonal emotional pregnant wife at his side. He's a trooper and I need more of his spirit. This is our life right now. I'll repeat that I do believe everything will work out, I just wish I knew how.