Cancelled

Today we would've been saying "see ya later" to our kiddos and then hopping on a plane for a couple weeks in Europe but that's obviously not happening due to Covid. So it's going to be a dessert filled day while we pretend that we aren't actually here and that staying home is fun. 😂

In all serious though I'm at peace that this trip was cancelled. Back in late March when we knew the possibility of cancelation was high I was not though. I was very upset. This was a trip that I had spent months planning and day dreaming about. We were going to visit several different countries and I was excited for each one. On our itinerary we had Finland, Netherlands, Sweden, Estonia and Russia. We had ferry rides, bucket list destinations and of course castles in our plans. Grandma Great (Colleen) was especially excited to show us around her mission grounds and introduce us to her old friends. It's not happening though and it really is okay. I was starting to really stress over who would watch our children. Jill was at the top of our list but with her recent newborn we knew we didn't want to overwhelm her with our kids and was really struggling over the decision on who would watch them instead. Both of our parents offered help but I had my concerns. This trip being cancelled turned out to be a disguised blessing for me because I think it would have been really hard to part with them. I know the issues are partly with myself though and that the kids would have been okay with whoever we trusted them with. It's hard because I think with one of our kids really struggling with anxiety my mama heart would have struggled being away. With that said I do feel bad for Danny. I know he was also looking for a nice getaway where we can just focus on ourselves as a couple and not have the stress that comes with parenthood be at the forefront of our daily lives. I'm hoping that we can still make something happen this year, even if we don't even leave the state of Utah. 2020 is surely going to be known in the history books as a rough year for everyone. Here's to making the best of it!