On July 25th there was a freak sandstorm accident in Fillmore, UT that took eight lives with five of them being from the same family. I happen to know that family well and my heart is shattered for them. I found out late on Grant's birthday after everyone was already in bed and I had already written about his day being so great. I was in bed with Danny about to watch a show when I got the news from my childhood friend Whitney who told me about our friends the Sawyers. We grew up with Mason Sawyer being in our ward. He was also my cousin David's best friend so we saw him a lot at my aunt and uncle's house who lived just around the corner from us. Mason comes from the best family with the most christian love centered parents. Mason's girlfriend and later wife was Kortni Atkinson who I got to know well through high school basketball. I also set up Kortni's sister Jordin on a date with my cousin David and they ended up getting married. So David and Mason who were best friends ended up becoming brothers by marrying sisters. Kortni, her three young kids, Mason's brother Race and Race's son Rider were all in the car heading back home from Bear Lake to St. George when the sandstorm hit. There was only one survivor. Mason's three year old son named Blue. I cannot even imagine the heartbreaking situation that Mason is in right now. He lost his wife, two of his three kids, his brother and his nephew all in one night. Even just one of those losses would be too much too handle and he's dealing with five. I can't get my cousins David and Jordin out of my head as they're struggling with this traumatic loss and I can't stop thinking about Mason and wondering how he's supposed to grieve all these family members at once. It's a lot. I think back on my own memories with Kortni and our high school days. She was the nicest person to everyone. I think of her three kids who are ages 6, 4 and 2 which are almost the exact ages of my own kids who are 6, 4 and now 3. I'm squeezing my kids extra tight these days. I constantly think of the Atkinson and Sawyer families and it's soul crushing to think that they will never be the same. Hold tight to the ones you love because you never know what tomorrow promises.
Our mutual high school friend (Cat) made a post where she wrote -
"I debated posting this, and this is a very sensitive topic, so I'll do my best to write out my thoughts. Over the last week + my mindset has been shifting pretty drastically due to the devastating loss of our friends and their sweet babies. In ways, I feel guilty that I'm 'struggling' with it the way I am. I didn't lose my sister or wife. I didn't lose my child. I don't deserve to be distraught this way. But I am.
The sudden traumatic loss has triggered all sorts of feelings and emotions and then my heart breaks all over again for the families. One of my good friends said, every one else will move forward in their life, and the family will still be there. I think this has truly changed and touched everyone's lives that knew the Sawyers. I hope they know that we're here for them, not just last week, but in all the coming months, etc. That we are mourning for them because we were blessed to be part of their lives and we love the ones still here. That we will do our best to help carry them through this moving forward.
"Grief I've learned is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but can't.""
I feel like her words are ones I could've written myself. Everything she said about her thoughts of the tragic loss of the Sawyer accident I'm dealing with and then feeling bad with how hard I'm taking it. It's now my anniversary month with being married to Danny and when I think about that I also think about how most of the decorations we used for our luncheon and reception was because of Kortni Sawyer. Mason and Kortni were married mid June and our wedding colors happened to be the exact same. She passed all of her decorations to me to use and she didn't need to do that. Our wedding budget was barely anything so her generosity meant so much. Mason's Mom was the one who set up all the decor and stayed way before the reception started until the end. The funeral for Kortni, Riggins, Franki, Race and Rider was on July 31st and there we were all challenged to Kortnify our lives. To do this Kortni's dad asked that we LOVE People, LIVE Life and SMILE Often. In Mason's tribute to his family he focused on the phrase that Nothing Else Matters. As I look at my own little family I'm reminded to stress less about the small things but the thing that truly matters are the people in my life and God. Nothing Else Matters.
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