She Was Real

Camila showed up in my dreams last night. She should do that more often. 💔

In it I kept telling a group of friends and even strangers that I was with that "she was real, she was real". I don't know if it's supposed to mean anything or if it's just a random dream but I makes me so sad that a part of me feels like I need to explain how real she really was. Most people in my life now never knew the Camila that I knew. It makes me so sad because it adds another layer to grief when your own loved ones only knew the sick version of her. I think about how life would be different if I could call her up and ask about how to get through all these different phases of parenthood and I can't. I bet she would have loved being a parent to teenagers because she was an amazing sister to teenagers. I lover her and miss her a lot.